When it hurts


“When it hurts – observe. Life is trying to teach you something”.Anita Krizzan said that and I’d say there’s a lot more truth to that sentence than there is in many others.

Pain and hurt are unavoidable conditions of being human. Whether it be physical or emotional pain; we will experience it at some point in our lives. Now I’m more inclined to talk about the emotional side of this topic, but let’s start with an example of physical pain. Let’s imagine we’re 7 years old again. We’re running around and playing and not really paying attention to where our feet are going. Suddenly, our foot catches a stone and we fall. The fall is hard and following that we experience physical pain. It hurts. What do we do? Well, in most cases we get back up and continue to play, but something amazing happens in the process. After making this mistake a few more times we come to the conclusion that we need to be more observant of where we place our feet. We observe the situation well enough to make sure that we don’t end up hurting ourselves again.

We should always transfer this knowledge to our emotional pain. It’s hard though. Being aware of the position of your feet when you are walking is an easy task, but understanding why you are feeling emotional pain can be a hard, even daunting, task. It could take days, weeks, months or even years for us to realise where this emotional pain is coming from, and I want to tell you all that we all experience this. This is why it’s so important to just sit down and listen to yourself. Observe why you’re feeling this pain and do not put the blame on someone else. Our emotional pain is always our responsibility. Even if we feel like someone has wronged us, it’s never another person’s fault that we’re feeling hurt. In most situations, we feel hurt because we took something personally. It’s never personal. The way we behave and react towards one another revolves around ourselves. If we’re not good to ourselves we will not be good to others.

Sometimes we just can’t figure out why we’re feeling pain. Have you ever gotten a headache out of nowhere? It’s painful. You go to the doctor and he said that it will pass and there’s nothing wrong with you, and that sentence carries weight. Do not ever thing anything is wrong with you when you’re feeling pain that you can’t explain. Believe me when I say that I promise that your pain will leave eventually.

Let’s turn emotional hurt into something positive. Let us observe why we are feeling hurt. Let’s use the knowledge we garner from this amazing opportunity to become better people. When we become better people we are not only doing others around us a favour; we’re giving ourselves a gift. That gift being the ability to love one’s self for who and what we are.


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