Overthinking? Get into the now!

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We are conscious beings. We have the ability to think. Isn’t that wonderful? We can use our imagination to conjure up scenes of beauty right in front of us. We can process words, symbols, numbers, emotions, and many other experiences in day to day life. We think to solve problems and we think for leisure. We think all day and every day. Sometimes we think a little too much.

We have all experienced over-thinking  at some point in our lives. It’s completely normal, but usually an uncomfortable experience. When our imagination decides to run wild we can sometimes lose track of that beautiful scenery that we were imagining and end up thinking about worst case scenarios. Everything can be over-thought about. Be it relationships with other people, cooking dinner for the night or what might happen at work tomorrow we can always get caught up over thinking the possibilities. So how do we overcome this?

Let’s do this together. We can start by not making assumptions. Don Miguel Ruiz wrote about this in his book “The Four Agreements”. When we draw assumptions we’re just putting ourselves into a situation that has not yet happened. Therefore, we have no clue how the outcome will be. We have no idea what is going to happen a year, month, day, hour, minute or even a second in the future. We have no clue how a person will react to what you say. So why should we bother spending our energy in making assumptions? Ask questions instead. Ask as many until you have the information you need. An educated guess is better than an uneducated one.

Let’s go back to the topic of putting ourselves into the future. This causes anxiety. We can very easily imagine future scenes and that can cause more harm than good. When we imagine ourselves in a certain situation we relive it. Just like people with PTSD we can actually feel the situation. If you tried hard enough to imagine a taste you will eventually taste it. Our body remembers experiences and if you puzzle a future experience together with knowledge of past situations then you will definitely feel that scenario mentally and physically. I’m not saying that we should not completely forget about the future. Planning ahead of time is a great thing to do, but to expect everything to go according to plan is unrealistic. Things can go any which way at any time. Resting your well-being on future events will only create anxiety.

Let’s just admit to ourselves that when it comes to future events, we know absolutely nothing. Not knowing something is fine. Let’s also just learn to accept that what happened in the past is done with. We can’t go back and change anything. So it seems like we only have one place left to go. The present. If we focus on the present we’ll be just fine.

Practicing being in the now is our all mighty tool to slay over-thinking. We can meditate or do yoga. For those of us who do not want to dedicate time to longer practices have no fear. When we feel like we’re thinking too much about a certain topic we can do simple exercises to get us back on track. Like everything, they take some practice, but we’ll get it eventually. Let’s just stop for a second and put everything down. Don’t close your eyes this time. Just take a deep breath in and look around. Where are you? What are you doing? What can you smell? Can you feel the wind on your skin? What about the surrounding sounds? What’s going on right here, right now? Answer all of these questions. If you can think of anymore questions relating to your environment then answer them too. Remind yourself of the present moment and just take it in. It may not work the first time, but we won’t give up easy. We can keep on practicing it and eventually we’ll stop using so much energy on things that don’t matter and start putting it into what really matters. What’s happening right now.

Insecure?

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Quirks and character qualities are things that everyone has. Some of them we are very comfortable with. We may be proud of certain bodily features we have. We may be very happy with how our personality is. With that comes security. We can be very secure with how we feel about ourselves. Sometimes though, we look at ourselves and judge. That’s where our insecurities come into the spotlight. Everyone at some point in their lives gets insecure. Be it that we are insecure about our bone structure or how people perceive us, we all experience some form of insecurity.

Insecurity is defined by the fact that we sometimes are just not confident in ourselves. We can get anxious about who we are and that is completely normal. Sometimes our head is just not in the game and we start second guessing ourselves. It happens to everyone so we shouldn’t beat ourselves up when we’ve come to realise that we’re feeling a little bit insecure.

So what can we do when we’re feeling insecure? We can start off by taking a look at the way we talk to ourselves. When we see ourselves in the mirror what do we say? I’m not going to give any attention to anything negative anyone might say to themselves. Instead I’m going to say that we should always be saying, “Wow, I look beautiful today!”. We need to keep telling ourselves that everyday because it’s true. We are all beautiful as cliché as it sounds. The only compliments in the world that matter are the ones that we give to ourselves. How can we compliment others if we can’t give ourselves a pat on the back every now and then?

What about our body language? How are we carrying ourselves? Body language seems over-looked today. Strike a power pose if you’re not feeling secure about yourself. Just a forced smile produces the same endorphins that cause us to feel happy, a power pose helps us feel more confident. So stand like superman and feel like him too! We don’t have to walk about like a superhero to feel confident though. Stand up straight and stick your chest out. Keep your shoulders behind your back and walk about knowing that we are all equal. We have to show ourselves respect if we intend to gain the respect of others. How can we respect a person that does not respect themselves? Having proper posture is not just healthy for our body, but also healthy for our mind. In various indian philosophies they talk about kundalini energy. The kundalini can’t travel properly from our root to our crown without proper posture.

We are all human beings living on the same planet. We are all the same, but also different. We are all beautiful people with good things to contribute to this world. When we focus on all of the good things we can bring to one another our insecurities dwindle.  If our insecurities come from what other people think of us then we remind ourselves that we need only to change for ourselves. We need to be able to live and be ourselves without the need for validation and acceptance from others. When we accept ourselves for who we are, faults and all, then we become truly secure with ourselves. We should not let that stop us though from working on our faults. We can always strive to be a better person today than we were yesterday and that leads to growth. With our own spiritual growth we can encourage others to grow. We can help others get over their insecurities, and more often than not, we help ourselves in the process. Let us speak positively to ourselves because we are worth it. We will always be good enough and when we’re not feeling good enough then we go back and remind ourselves why we are good enough. Meditate on the good. We don’t need to suffer by our own hand. So do me this favour. Take care of yourself unselfishly. Speak kindly to yourself. By doing that we can achieve the ultimate goal of loving one another and that is a world that sounds beautiful to me.

Insecure?

DSC_0096

Quirks and character qualities are things that everyone has. Some of them we are very comfortable with. We may be proud of certain bodily features we have. We may be very happy with how our personality is. With that comes security. We can be very secure with how we feel about ourselves. Sometimes though, we look at ourselves and judge. That’s where our insecurities come into the spotlight. Everyone at some point in their lives gets insecure. Be it that we are insecure about our bone structure or how people perceive us, we all experience some form of insecurity.

Insecurity is defined by the fact that we sometimes are just not confident in ourselves. We can get anxious about who we are and that is completely normal. Sometimes our head is just not in the game and we start second guessing ourselves. It happens to everyone so we shouldn’t beat ourselves up when we’ve come to realise that we’re feeling a little bit insecure.

So what can we do when we’re feeling insecure? We can start off by taking a look at the way we talk to ourselves. When we see ourselves in the mirror what do we say? I’m not going to give any attention to anything negative anyone might say to themselves. Instead I’m going to say that we should always be saying, “Wow, I look beautiful today!”. We need to keep telling ourselves that everyday because it’s true. We are all beautiful as cliché as it sounds. The only compliments in the world that matter are the ones that we give to ourselves. How can we compliment others if we can’t give ourselves a pat on the back every now and then?

What about our body language? How are we carrying ourselves? Body language seems over-looked today. Strike a power pose if you’re not feeling secure about yourself. Just a forced smile produces the same endorphins that cause us to feel happy, a power pose helps us feel more confident. So stand like superman and feel like him too! We don’t have to walk about like a superhero to feel confident though. Stand up straight and stick your chest out. Keep your shoulders behind your back and walk about knowing that we are all equal. We have to show ourselves respect if we intend to gain the respect of others. How can we respect a person that does not respect themselves? Having proper posture is not just healthy for our body, but also healthy for our mind. In various indian philosophies they talk about kundalini energy. The kundalini can’t travel properly from our root to our crown without proper posture.

We are all human beings living on the same planet. We are all the same, but also different. We are all beautiful people with good things to contribute to this world. When we focus on all of the good things we can bring to one another our insecurities dwindle.  If our insecurities come from what other people think of us then we remind ourselves that we need only to change for ourselves. We need to be able to live and be ourselves without the need for validation and acceptance from others. When we accept ourselves for who we are, faults and all, then we become truly secure with ourselves. We should not let that stop us though from working on our faults. We can always strive to be a better person today than we were yesterday and that leads to growth. With our own spiritual growth we can encourage others to grow. We can help others get over their insecurities, and more often than not, we help ourselves in the process. Let us speak positively to ourselves because we are worth it. We will always be good enough and when we’re not feeling good enough then we go back and remind ourselves why we are good enough. Meditate on the good. We don’t need to suffer by our own hand. So do me this favour. Take care of yourself unselfishly. Speak kindly to yourself. By doing that we can achieve the ultimate goal of loving one another and that is a world that sounds beautiful to me.